Day 4/210: Power

Today is a good day.

Yesterday was pretty great too. I recognize that I’m not the person I used to be. In the five years that we’ve been together, I’ve spent so much time with H that I’ve forgotten the person I am when he’s not around.

In H, for the first time in my life, I found someone who I could be 100% vulnerable with and not feel judged. Sure, he’s human and has moments of snarkiness, but for a vast majority of them, he’s got my back and I’ve got his. And, I miss being able to tell him all the stupid, seemingly inconsequential things that happen to me throughout the day.

So naturally, the thought of being without him has been tough. The last few days I’ve been a wallowing, needy mess, and I’ve hidden that from him because I don’t want to dampen his time with his family. He, of course, is going to tell me I’m being an idiot, because I am. I have no doubts that we’re going to survive the distance, I’m just whining about it being hard.

And since when do I shun away from a challenge?

Tough times never last, but tough people do.
Robert H. Schuller

 

I climbed the highest free-standing mountain in the world, for goodness’ sake.

So, I’m going to find the person I used to be: the bad-ass-wise-cracking-kick-ass-Karate-fighting-machine is back.

And that person does not sulk.

I’m going to be the strong, independent, driven person that he fell in love with, and still loves, but more importantly, I’m going to be the me that I love and that I’m proud of. 

I’m going back to the dojo today. Wish me luck!

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