Day 5/210: Stress Lists

Today, I realized that you can do everything right, keep yourself busy, workout, be productive, clean, meet people and still be miserable because of how much you miss the people you love.

Today was just one of those days for me. 2017 is going to be such a challenging year for me, both within the context of my relationship with H, and personally.  Let’s do a quick list of all the things stressing me out, shall we? I love lists.

• I start my first grown-up post-grad job in two days while still trying to run my business full time.
• My mother is moving half-way across the world for three years in April.
• My future with H pretty much depends on us both getting into grad school
  • I hear back from one school this month, and the other 2 in April
  • He hears back from both in April
  • We both are pretty great at what we do, so our grades aren’t so great.
• My parents want me to get married, and not to H.
• H’s situation at home means that not only are we apart for 6 months, we’re apart with limited contact.
  • His situation at home also means that he’s ultra-busy and ultra-preoccupied, so I’m afraid of telling him I lonely I feel.
• In the five days that H has been gone, not one person has hugged me. And that makes me sad. 😦

Okay, now that I have all of that down, what am I doing about it?

• H and I made a folder on Google Drive so we can keep each other accountable with our workouts and motivate each other when we’re slacking off or skipping a day. We used to go to the gym together so this is a nice of way feeling connected.
• I’ve started bullet journaling, for some strange reason, this is helping me feel more in control of the situation.
• We’ve both downloaded the app Between, it’s basically a social network for two. Adorable stickers. And totally private.You share pictures, notes etc, as well as IM each other. So he take random pictures of stuff throughout the day and shares it when he has access to the internet.

It’s not perfect but it’s something. The way we tackle our LDR has to evolve as our challenges evolve. We just need to get through it one day at a time.