Day 12/210: Valentine Tears

In the 4+ years that H and I have been together, I have never once felt loved, happy or cherished on Valentine’s Day. Today, of course, is no exception. Expectation really is the root of all heartache.

We started dating in May, so our first Valentine’s arrived after having been together for almost a year. That year he refused to do anything because Valentine’s Day was only to be celebrated with his mum and sister. When he’s home with them he buys them presents, makes them cards and takes them out to dinner. Since they’re in Pakistan, and he was here with me, I thought maybe he might do a small percentage of that for me.

When he’s home with them he buys them presents, makes them cards and takes them out to dinner. Since they’re in Pakistan, and he was here with me, I thought maybe he might do a small percentage of that for me.

Thought wrong.

Year after we were on a break, and we went out to dinner (which I paid for) and he thought he’d outdone himself by coming up with the idea to get dinner in order to win me back. The entire ride back he couldn’t stop talking about what a great boyfriend he was.

Not to be ungrateful but I was super underwhelmed, we eat out three times a week, going to one of our regular restaurants didn’t feel special, and it didn’t help that he wanted a medal for it.

The year after that I figured he wasn’t going to do anything so I might as well try, so I bought a gorgeous red dress, made a reservation, did my hair etc. Our Uber was supposed to pick me up and then go pick him up. It never showed, we missed our reservation, he blamed me for it, went to bed sobbing. The dress is still hanging in my closet, unworn.

This year he’s in Pakistan and I’m here. It’s nearly 5 PM there and he still hasn’t wished me. I wanted to see if he’d remember. We’ve texted back and forth a couple of times today, but no mention of anything. I mean it’s not like he can forget since Between has a huge reminder on our homepage.

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So yeah, I’m really upset. He knows how much valentine’s day means to me, and he knows how upset I’ve been every year. I wish he’d just take the time to do something for me just because he knows it’d make me happy even if he thinks it’s stupid, or cheesy or whatever.

All my life I’ve seen girls being treated like princesses by their boyfriends, and not just on valentine’s, roses, chocolates, expensive presents, cards and so on. I’m not asking for any of that stuff, I would’ve been happy with a heartfelt text message wishing me and telling me that he loves me, I would’ve been ecstatic if he’d recorded himself saying that.

Hromance8.png is a great guy, he really is. I just wish he’d take the time to make me feel loved on Valentine’s Day. He’s unromantic most of the year with occasional exceptions, like my last birthday. In the 4 1/2 years we’ve been together he’s given me flowers (a single rose), once.
Sometimes I feel like because we were friends before we started dating, he forgets that I’m his girlfriend until he wants to get some action.

I hope all of you out there are having a better Valentine’s Day than I am (I’m pretty sure you are since I just got done mopping my bathroom)

What did you do today? Is your significant other with you this year? How do you celebrate? Are you a V-Day fan?

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