Why is it that you can break up with an abusive partner but not with abusive family?
My parents, while not physically abusive, are pushing me to the breaking point.
Today I asked what was for dinner and it turned into my parents yelling at me for about 45 minutes how I’m incompetent, don’t know how to look after myself, comparing me to my younger sister, and somehow managing to work into all of this that my breath stinks. (!?)
Every time my dad sets eyes on me he criticises me, tells me something I’m doing wrong, or gives me work to do. In 22 years, I don’t think I’ve heard him praise me once. Not when I graduated from college, not when I climbed a mountain, not when I got my first job, not when I presented at the UN at the age of 16. Not once.
My mum on the other hand has a tendency to immediately connect my problems to her own, ‘worse’ ones. For example,
Me: My head hurts.
Mom: you’ll be fine. I have the worst migraines, they’re unbearable.
Me: I’m cramping.
Mom: oh you’re so weak. You need to strengthen yourself.
I am 22 years old and unable to live move out because it’s unacceptable for a girl to live away from her parents before she gets married. I am beyond frustrated.
I can’t put into words how tired I am. Everything from my hair to my skin, to my job, to my friends, to the food I eat, to my choice in bread (yes, really!), leads to incessant criticism and taunts.
Add to this that H is away and with limited access to the Internet, and I’m starting to doubt that I’ll survive the next few months.
On the plus side, my mum is leaving in 2 months. But that means I’m stuck living alone with my dad.
The hardest part of it all? When they’re good, they’re the best parents in the world. When they’re bad, they make me wish I was dead.